Counselling for Self-harm, Cutting or self-injury,self-harming Crawley, West Sussex
Self-harm, cutting or self-injury can be seen as a way of dealing with problems, worries or anxieties. It could be said that self-harm is a way of expressing feelings without putting them into words. For people around those who self-harm it can be seen as very disturbing.
Often, you’re in a repeated pattern of behaviour, as the psychological pain that made you hurt yourself returns, and you feel that you have to hurt yourself again.
If you are hurting yourself and can’t stop, or feel you don’t know how to stop, help is at hand. You don’t need to hurt yourself to feel okay about yourself.
Below are things you can do to stop yourself cutting or self-harming.
Tell someone; often this alone can be the beginning of you
Stopping yourself hurting yourself.
Ask for help from someone who you trust. Simply asking for help can be the start of finding a new way of coping with your emotional pain.
Become mindful of your cutting triggers; knowing your triggers can help you understand where your pain comes from.
Learning more by reading more relevant articles; you can go to the eleos counselling blog where there are articles on self-harm.
The facts about self-harm and cutting
Self-harm is often seen as a way of expressing emotional pain or deeply distressing thoughts and feelings. For those who don’t know it seems ridiculous, how can hurting yourself make you feel okay about yourself, but sometimes you have no option, and cutting or injuring yourself is a way of releasing the psychological pain.
Hurting yourself, or self-harming can often feel like the only way of coping with the deep sense of self-loathing, the feeling of emptiness, anger, guilt, rage, shame or a dozen more feelings.
Unfortunately, the feeling of relief you get from self-harm doesn’t last long, it almost feels as if you’re in a cycle of behaviour and you can’t stop. Furthermore, hurting yourself feels like the only way out, although this gives you some release, this is not long-term.
Secrecy is one of the major components of self-harm. If you are like the majority of people who do hurt themselves keeping it secret from others is one of the ways you minimise your sense of shame. Keeping your self-harming secret from your friends family, and the ones you love is self-defeating, as keeping your self-harming secret can lock you into a pattern of behaviour which inturn increases your sense of self-loathing.
Myths and misconceptions about cutting and self-harm.
Self-harm tends to be a no-go area for some people, with many misconceptions. Someone who is self-harming can often
be misunderstood regarding their motives and state of mind.
Misconception or Myth 1: People who are self-injuring or self-harming are trying to seek attention.
Fact: Someone who is self-injuring is not trying to control or manipulate, in fact, guilt, shame and a fear of rejection may make it difficult, for someone who is self-harming, to come forward and talk about their problem. For someone who is trying to help somebody who is self-harming, please don’t let this misconception cloud your judgement.
Misconception or Myth 2: Someone who is self-harming is suffering from a mental health problem.
Undoubtedly, someone who is cutting or self-harming will show some signs of anxiety, depression or even signs of previous trauma, this is no different to anybody, with these issues. Self-harming does not make somebody mad or crazy. Self-injury is a way of coping with anxiety, depression or previous trauma.
Misconception or Myth 3: if you are self-injuring you want to die or kill yourself.
Fact: Generally, people who are self-harming do not want to kill themselves. Somebody who is cutting or self-harming is not saying, Surreptitiously, they want to kill themselves, or indeed are suicidal. Self-harm or cutting is a way of dealing with their psychological pain. Nevertheless, there is a correlation between long-term self-harm and a higher than normal risk of suicide, making it all the more important for that person, who is self-harming, to seek help.
Misconception or Myth 4: If the cutting isn’t visible or deep it can’t be serious.
Fact: Regardless of how deep the wounds are or how severe the cutting is, the person doing the cutting is suffering. It would be wrong to assume that because the cuts are light, there is nothing to be concerned about.
Signs to look out for / recognising the symptoms.
Self-harm can include a variety of behaviours in which you intentionally hurt or injure, yourself. Below is a list of possible ways a person may self-harm.
Scratching your skin or cutting with knives or blades or sharp objects.
Deliberately burning or scalding yourself.
Hitting yourself, with fists or objects or banging your head against hard objects.
Piercing your skin with objects such as needles et cetera.Picking at old injuries or wounds preventing them from healing properly.
Ingesting poison or swallowing or inserting objects into your body.
Although the list above isn’t exhaustive, other behaviours could be considered to be self-harm such as putting yourself in danger, driving recklessly, excessive drinking or binge drinking, extreme use of recreational drugs, as well as having unprotected sex.
Things to look out for, for family members, friends or those who may suspect that a person is cutting or self-harming,.
Clothing can often mask signs of cutting or self-harming, particularly if they cover arms and upper thighs; a normal area for cutting. A calm temperament can often hide inner turmoil. Undoubtedly, self-injury or self-harming is hard to detect and often loved ones can miss the indicators that self-harm is taking place. Nevertheless, there are warning signs you can look out for (however, It’s advisable to be absolutely sure that your suspicions are correct before you engage in any form of discussion regarding your concerns with the person you think may be self-harming).
For the person who is self-harming: Advice about talking about yourself- harm.
Centre your attention on your feelings: Giving people details of your self-harm can be self-defeating. Focus on how you feel will give the person a better idea of really what’s behind your self-harm. Emphasising how you feel can also help the person understand why you’re telling them. Furthermore, before you ask for help, Taking time to ask yourself what do you want out of disclosing to someone that you are self-harming; whether you want advice, or simply wanting somebody to know your secret.
Tell someone as much as you feel comfortable to tell them:
If you are apprehensive about talking about your self-harm, consider beginning the conversation by text or email; with the aim that this will end up with a face-to-face conversation. If you feel pressurised into telling someone or sharing your feelings maybe it’s too early for you to talk. It may not be important to show someone your injuries or indeed answer questions that you feel uncomfortable about.
Process time, giving the person time to process what you have told them: as awkward or difficult it may have been for you to be open to a person. It may also be difficult for someone you’re telling to comprehend what you just told them; especially if it’s a family member or a close friend. Remember, people react differently to different situations so you may have a reaction that you didn’t expect. The person that you are telling may be shocked, even mildly annoyed, or confused about what you’ve just told them. Printing out or showing them this webpage may help. The more someone understands your self-harm or cutting the bettered there able to support you.
Things to also remember when telling someone about your self-harm:
Talking can bring up a lot of emotions for you especially if those emotions have been suppressed or denied. In talking to someone about your self-harm, you may feel as if you’ve opened yourself up too much; this is understandable as your self-harm has been your secret for sometime and in sharing you may feel exposed. Nevertheless, once you get past the preliminary worries about telling someone, you may find yourself feeling better.
Making sense of why you cut yourself or self-harm.
Gaining insight and understanding into why you cut yourself, can be a very important step in helping yourself recover. If you can understand the triggers that make you self-harm and what function your self-harm means to you; you will have more of an idea of what to tell others when you finally disclose to them about your self-harm.
Understanding the emotions and triggers the cause your self-harm.
Understanding that your self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain, confusion or emotions you can’t express, will help you understand why under certain circumstances you hurt yourself. Understanding the feelings that you want to get rid of when you cut yourself whether it be anger, discussed, guilt, shame, loneliness or an overwhelming sense of emptiness.
Having self-insight into the feelings that trigger your need to self- injury, can help you develop alternative ways of dealing with your emotions.
How professional help can help you.
Seeing a therapist or counsellor can be a very effective way of helping you deal with unwanted emotions. Speaking to a trained professional like those offered at eleos counselling can help you overcome your self-harming.
A trained therapist or counsellor can help you develop new coping techniques and strategies. Furthermore, a trained therapist can help you get to the underlying feelings on why you cut or self-harm yourself.
One of the things to remember is that self-harm doesn’t exist just by itself it exists in real life, and it’s an outward expression of feelings that you cannot express.
F6 Worth Corner,
Turners Hill Road,
Pound Hill, Crawley
or (01293) 882210
How can Eleos Counselling help?
During a recent survey the online forum UK mental health estimated that 9% of the UK population have a mental health problem, some of which is GAD(General Anxiety Disorder) .
Seeking professional help from the therapist can be the first step in your recovery from general anxiety disorder, Eleos Counselling has had many years helping clients overcome general anxiety disorder in the Crawley and East Grinstead area, if you would like to make an appointment you can phone on any of the numbers above, or go to the book now button below which will take you to an online booking page we can book an assessment.
Please get into contact today should you require our counselling services.
I specialise in creating an environment, that allows you to discover and understand who you are is an individual, who you are in context to relationships, and how you interact with others. We work together to change unhelpful patterns of the behaviour in order to have the relationships and life you want.
F6 Worth Corner,
Turners Hill Road,
Pound Hill, Crawley
Phone: (01403)217300 or (01293) 882210